1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."

Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal is a sick eagle."

Doctor : I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor : The lab called with your test results.
said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!!
What could be worse?
What's the very bad news?
Doctor : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor : You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient : What happened?
Doctor : Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would u like to hear first?Patient : Well... The bad news first ...
Doctor : Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad\'s then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."

bye~.. -=tiNg=-